In Tulum. ps i finally figured out posting pictures

first off let me say that i am so happy and feel so blessed to be here right now. really my dream when i was in austin was to be on a beach practicing massage somewhere in the carribbean. at the time i didnt even know how to spell carribbean, as i learned with a few google searches.

i hadnt thought any further than that- basically what we're all fantasizing about at work or home in our "normal" lives- we want to live in a dream. and the dream is probably different for everyone- for some it is the best hamburger in the world, for others it is having unlimited access to designer clothes and the body to wear them. it's the loving family, the dog at the lake, the sportscar. we're all thinking about it. all the time it seems.


i had the beach dream real bad when i left.

ok the clothes one, too. but what was really looping around and around in my bored funky head was the scene of me wearing a cute dress riding my bike down some cobbled colonial street with the carribbean ocean in the background and waving gracefully to all of my rasta carribbean friends, of whom i was the queen.

is that so much to ask? actually i was asking so much more- a crowd of hip artsy friends and a ton of money, the perfect boyfriend... i could really go on now that i think of it.

but the main idea i had when i left austin a month and a half ago was this: live near a beach and practice massage.

when i got here everyone said you gotta go to this place where they might hire you to do massages. it's a little hotel and restaurant on the beach with cute cabanas and thatched roofs. their main business is bikini fitness retreats where mostly americans and english women come for a week or 10 days to eat healthy, work out alot, do yoga, ogle hot young guys on staff, and get lookin good for their bikinis.

i went there to audition as a massage therapist but it's the slow season and they wont have work for me until december. but got hired to do some bookkeeping instead. and i will be doing a work trade for a while in exchange for living out there. so i got a place to stay and meals for a month or so, yes! sweet!

then, on my birthday, i was headed out there and a couple of guys gave me a ride- one was american and the other peruvian. they were going to a nearby hotel for work as well. we exchanged small talk, i said i was a massage therapist looking for work, etc. and then thanks, good luck on everything, this is my stop, goodbye nice meeting you. fifteen minutes later, they came back to get me and said this is your lucky day- the lady at the other hotel really needs a massage therapist. so i went and met her and she was una amor. so sweet and we had a great time talking and she said,"i want you to be the massage therapist for hotel parayso"! the only problem is as i said, it's the slow season and it happens to be the slowest season in like 25 years, what with all the hurricanes, economy and safety worries. so i have to wait for some business which usually comes around in a month or so. we'll see.

but on my birthday after that i felt so good. i was wading into the calm blue water, no one else was around, and i started laughing to myself- i did it! i cant believe i did it and i did it by my birthday. i took a chance and now heres my dream right in front of me.

i should also back track and tell you about how i found my saint- the Virgin de la Caridad del Cobre. in cuba i had given leo's sister, maribel, some incense and she put it away to save for september 7th which is the day of yemaya, the goddess of the sea. i said wow- my birthday is the 8th and she was like really? that is the day of the Caridad del Cobre and she is the saint of all cuba. she is very loving and she brings luck to those born on her day. it seemed like everyone in cuba knew all the days of all the saints and goddesses (cuba is the same as many latin countries- christianity flourishes alongside of all the deities everyone worshipped before and both are fuller for it). I would say i was born on the dia de la Caridad, and people would be like, oh the 8th of september? you could name a date like, december 4th- they'd think for a minute and say- that's the day of Santa Barbara.

Anyway, through another lucky adventure, which i'll have to write about later:), i was given a little gold framed picture/ statue of her. maribel told me that when i get to mexico i must pray to her everyday and ask for guidance and help on my path, to meet the right people and be guided to the good situations. she said i could ring a bell when i'm talking to her and to offer her 5 sunflowers. she didnt know why but that's what people give her.
i have been praying to her every day and while i still havent gotten her a bell, on her day i went to get her some sunflowers. i went to the only tienda in tulum that sells flowers to find them. when i got there it looked like they only had three left, but in the end they had exactly 5 left- perfect! i bought them and offered them to La Caridad. I know that she has been working on my behalf and that she led me to the massage job with the nice people. i am so happy to have found her and to feel her love and blessings.
so to backtrack to what i started out talking about- it's ironic that our idea of a perfect life is really just the end of a story- got the husband, the job, the kids, the place- whew! thank god i dont have to think or worry anymore- but what happens in the end is that we die, right?

but this is just the beginning of my story. lots of ups and downs and all that to come and like rumi's poem i want to invite them both in, each as a cherished guest, to my house.

love ya,

juanita